Rambling thoughts and Perspective

My mind is crazy busy and stressed.  I feel like I have to much info and way to little info.  Eric does not know how to help me and he is long tired of me talking about this very taboo topic.  I find myself wondering if I am doing everything just right.  Am I right by becoming a GERM SNOB and keeping our family in a bubble and avoiding the world,  am I right giving my child some serious medication that could cause him some very serous side affects like lymphoma.  And if he were to get cancer could I live with myself knowing I chose to give him the medicine that made him sick.




6/2/2013
Breathe   PERSPECTIVE

I am glad I sat on this post for a few months.  I have struggled LOTS the last few months understanding Trevor's Illness and the medications that he needs to help his body suppress the JRA, so he can be a healthy little boy.  His medicine like I mentioned earlyier has some BIG side affects.  To help limit those side affects I chose to keep our family away from ALL public places during the peek of flu season.  I think this was a good choice.   I wished I would have kept them away a month longer than I did since we still managed to catch almost everything anyway. 
As for Trevor's medicine possibly causing cancer, this is a tough one for me.  Here is were I am at this time on that idea. A good friend from our ward kept saying to me risk verses benefits .  This phrase has been very meaningful to me.  Without the medication Trevor can not walk or hardly move at all,  his body becomes crippled and his pain is almost unbearable.  With the medication his body grows properly he is no longer crippled, and experiences some pain, but he can enjoy life.  Trevor can run, play, jump and be a normal active healthy little boy.  I consider this a great BENEFIT.  Sure he could get very sick but with out the medication life is not great.  So I have decided that we will RISK cancer and other bad stuff for the BENEFIT of a HAPPY childhood today.  Also I have learned that the cancer risk is not as high as I thought.  Trevor has monthly blood tests to make sure his cells are healthy.  His doctor is closely monitoring him.
I am still not sure if I am making all of the right choices and doing everything just right.  But for today with all of the information that I have I am comfortable with the decisions I have made in behalf of Trevor and his medical needs.